I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
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I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
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I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
so I just realized.. of my 70k student loan debt, most of it went toward bar tabs, eightballs, and sweet-ass ties to wear to gamedays and other people's weddings. I think about shit like this while I'm at my mid-level management position. you know. "working."
Look upon your future, America, and despair.
Randomize