I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
I don’t care how cute or big a guy is I’m done with drunken hand jobs. It was like I was pulling a nine inch bungee cord for 25 minutes. Now My arm and shoulder is dead
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