Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
lets start a swedish sibling band together
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
While I was sneeking out of her apartment, there was a giant cage with a parrot in it. I half expected it to squak "hit and run...hit and run."
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
Status: mom bitching about grandma not shutting the fuck up, while not shutting the fuck up. Dear Jesus give me strength or more bourbon.
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
Randomize
