their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
woke up this morning with "hah" written on my penis.i was like wtf?? morning wood kicked in and found out what it really said, haNNah.then i remembered.
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
I’m gonna slowly take you in my mouth and push you deep into my throat so my lips are right up against your body and then I’m gonna fucking bite your shit off if one more of our friends shows me a snap you took while I was giving you head. Are we clear?
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
Randomize
