Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
New low: eating a buttered roll while taking a shit.
This is why we're soulmates.
Damn victory sex feels great
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
Randomize