shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The carpet cleaning people refuse to steam clean human feces. I'll call back later and blame it on the dog not you
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
i was too drunk before they even got here. i took all their phones instead of keys and hid them in the freezerr...im an awesome party host.
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
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