that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
He said he was trying to live vicariously through me. I didn't have the heart to tell him that meant he was vicariously fucking his best friend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
So here's a brief summary of my weekend: last night I drank four glasses of Death Punch, grabbed the toaster, said "This is mine", put it in my pants and walked out the front door.
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
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