I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
You realize your sleeping pills are working when you pick up your iPhone and almost bite it because you thought it was a graham cracker
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
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