Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
It's 3 in the morning and there is a bird chirping it's head off outside. GOD DAMNIT THIS IS NOT A TIME TO SING OF YOUR CHEERFUL BIRD MERRIMENT YOU STUPID BIRD CUNT!
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
You were trust falling into bushes
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
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