Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
There are drunk kids outside our building hugging that cop that's always on his bike as he's citing them for public drunkenness. It's not even 11 am.
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
Randomize
