i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
This isn't fair. Why can't sober me be good at bejeweled?
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
Randomize
