okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
it's gotten to the point where I just look in my closet, think, "which article of clothing behaves most like a towel?" and then just go with that
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
Randomize
