you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
My body has become completely dependent on Text Twist. I can't poop without it.
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
We invented "Diesel Bombs." They're supposed to be a bomb, but they come in a 20+ oz. glass and have a blackout record of 6 wins and 0 losses. Undoubtedly going to be the next Muhammed Ali of the drinking world.
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
Rolled over in bed this morning and found Nutella and wet naps. Why can't it ever be a fire fighter, or Jude Law.
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
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