Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret'
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
Apparently stumbling across interstate bridges is not cause for concern but screaming Wookie noises at cars is. Thanks, cops.
Next time someone asks you what your spirit animal is do you really want to answer the iowa state fair butter cow?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
Bro, I live in a constant state of existential dread and moderate ennui. The prospect of cosmic horror doesn’t faze me that much.
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