I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
dude you were so wasted last night you ate a sandwich made out of tomatos, cheese, doritos, salt & pepper. Then you heated it in the micro for 5 min to melt the cheese.
My cat puked at the same time as me. Makes me feel better about myself, except he can stand and I can't.
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
I just blew my weed a kiss
Bring me that man meat
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
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