Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
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My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
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HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
My boss couldn’t find her phone so she asked me to call it and when I found it the screen said Fuck Toy was calling. I’m very much okay with this
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