if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
Um of course I blew him. He brought me a shamrock shake. It was two o’clock in the morning on St. Patrick’s Day. There was no smoother move basically. He totally earned that head.
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
I was masterbating to some porn on my phone and my mom decides to text me "are you okay?" I mean i was doing great until you cock blocked me mom..
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
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