Pappa wants mamma naked
This guy just came in and told me how he bought a clock for his cat so his cat can know when he's coming home...
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
Randomize
