a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
How do I recover from singing "your body is a wonderland" on his voicemail?
woke up this morning to find the entire staircase covered in marinara sauce, with my roommate practically sobbing and scrubbing the wall with carpet cleaner.
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
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