she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
I used an emoji to tell him I was pregnant. I should feel bad about that, right?
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
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