chick im bringing home just asked our cab driver if she could do a line off his turban. i think im in love - or trouble.
FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
Randomize
