your thong is hanging out like whoa
I'm sorry my penis didn't work
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
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