The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
Randomize
