so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
If I started a story with "That three-year-old totally deserved it," would you listen?
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
Randomize
