this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
Were you drinking last night?
Because typically I don't associate the phrase 'Go sleepy time' with sobriety.
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
Randomize
