He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
I thought the fact that I took home a 42 year old with 3 kids would excuse my tardiness this morning because my boss is also 42 and has 3 kids. Boy was I wrong.
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
This house was built for laser tag.
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
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