turns out Discover card thinks that if you spend $450 at four different liquor stores in one evening that the card "must have been stolen"
We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
i dont even know how to be here
This is a drunk text message. I am so glad that we are friends. Tomorrow we will eat sandwiches in miniature. We both love dogs. Flower.
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
Randomize
