2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
He didn't speak any English, but I think I caught the word turtle in there somewhere.
Why would he say turtle mid-fuck?
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
Was having a panic attack, but I'm out of xanax. Substituting with vodka shots and breathing exercises. My therapist will be proud, yes?
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
They pay me enough to pretend to be either helpful, or heterosexual. If they want both I need one hell of a raise.
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
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