sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
I feel great
I just peed on a car
Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
Randomize
