i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
Randomize
