it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
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