and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
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She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
composition of my stomach right now: 60% C8H10N4O2 * H2O (coffee), 20% CaCO3 (pepto bismol/tums), 10% HCl (stomach acid), 5% fried rice, 5% residual adderall. i can do that by percent mass too. fuck you finals.
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
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That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
Randomize