I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
You have not lived until you've seen your mother stumble into the house with one shoe on mumbling incoherently about tequila cupcakes.
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
Imma do four shots of whisky within two minutes and pass out. Otherwise this'll go badly.
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
Randomize
