Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
"Bring the kids" is the most terrifying 3 words I've ever heard in my life.
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
Randomize
