I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
Spilled red wine all over my bed. This has to be the fiftieth time ive refused to fall asleep without a drink in my hand
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
Is her dick bigger than yours?
If its not for food we ain't going out.
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
Randomize
