Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
I need you to perform a face transplant. Please remove your face from your accounting book and relocate it to where it's most needed - between my legs.
Drunk me really needs to stop 1. telling every attractive dude in a relationship that monogamy isn't real 2. Proposing threesomes with them and their girlfriends
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
Randomize
