the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
lets start a swedish sibling band together
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
My financial advisor filed my girlfriend's abortion under "investments" so my wife wouldn't find out
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
In two unrelated events today I have had frostbite on my toe and cum up my nose. Who says life stops when you get married?
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
Randomize
