so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
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Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
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Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
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