Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
she peed on how many people?
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
Randomize
