Can't imagine what could be worse than pet-naming your penis, but I'll let it go.
if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
Captain Phil from deadliest catch died... im trying to think of a memorial fb status but "ill miss your crabs" doesnt sound right
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
They get 5 minutes to wear their speedos at the wedding
Oh my god I'll have to be really drunk for that
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
I vaguely remember a pregnant lady reaching for my penis. When was I in an elevator?
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
i believe in u and ur pee
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
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