Last night I had a dream we played Uno and had sex. You won at Uno, but you lost at sex.
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
Edward fifth and chaser hands
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
Randomize
