I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
Nope. She just screamed at me "YOU WERE A FAILED ABORTION" and "I'LL PUT ANTHRAX IN YOUR PILLOW YOU LITTLE FUCK". Best mother award ever
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.
You know that girl that climbed through my window and got in my bed with me and fucked me? It turns out she was real and has a real boyfriend who is real pissed
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
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