I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
i'm just sitting here watching hocus pocus, eating takeout, and taking self esteem quizzes online while everyone is out partying. you tell me how my night is.
I believe its time to stop celebrating Thanksgiving. I've been drunk for over a week. If my liver doesn't give out, and I'm not pregnant I will truly have something to be thankful for.
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
Is it weird that I Facebook creep hot people from their credit card receipts?
Being single for so long makes me fucking creepy.
I wish drunk me wasn't so into manscaping. Or at least good at it. Either or really
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
Randomize
