I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
i just checked to make sure valentines day this year was on a weekend assuming ill want to be drunk all day
hearing about your life makes me feel so good about mine
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
Cancelling your gym membership calls for alcohol.
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
I like being woken up by phone calls of you sabotaging marriages
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
Randomize
