My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
When you wake up, I have a unicorn coloring book, crayons, mini cupcakes, and booze.
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
Randomize
