He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
Randomize
