There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
Woke up with a migrane, threw up blood, then my headache went away. I'm going to convince myself that it was just a bad batch of blood so I can drink again tonight
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
Randomize
