Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
Just reached for my phone in my non existant pocket while it was in my hand.
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
Come on in and take your pants off
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