she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
He came home all fucked up crying slammed his bedroom door and all we could hear for about three hours was THIS ISN'T GONA RUIN MYLIFe what happend
I told him I got this chick pregnant and he has to get a new wingman
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
We're going to watch the inauguration and fuck. Or fuck and watch the inauguration, I'm not picky, just get your ass over here by ten.
Randomize
