one might say we're banned from that church
Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
Randomize
