I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
can't come out tonight. went to the bar again last night and the bartender hugged and thanked me so much for my "generosity." I'm intrigued but terrified to see my credit card bill.
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
I want to be your penis for a week.
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
Randomize
