Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
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