just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
Currently cooking 3lbs of bacon in case the power goes out bc if even one slice of bacon goes to waste then sandy wins
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
No joke, I just found $85 on the ground. Must be because I bought you all that liquor. So much good karma.
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
Randomize
