She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
Emily is drunk. We're coming to see you at work and we're bringing jello shots for you.
I just found the gloves and lightbulb I stole. Did you pee on a ATM inside a bank?
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
Do you think I could get someone from tinder to drive me to the airport?
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
Randomize
