Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
It's 5AM and I just stirred weed butter into ramen noodles. This is not where I expected to be at 30. ...But, hey, getting high off noodles.
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