So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
I woke up to him trying to put his dick in my mouth. When I asked him what he was doing he said he was trying to make me stop snoring...
She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
Delivery driver perk #327: I just paid for part of the security deposit on my new place in pizza. This oughta be a fun renting experience.
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
What's the polite way to say "hey I don't actually want to fuck you, I just swiped right on you because you didn't like me in high school and I needed validation"
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
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