When my options for Friday night are being a 3rd wheel or bringing a gay man as my date i need to focus on other things in life like having a successful career.
there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
27 Signs That Someone Will Probably Be Bad At Sex
At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
i cant text you anymore tonight, God gave me two hands for two cups
23 Proposal Horror Stories You Won’t Believe
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club