Hey theres a creepy ass guy stalking our house.i would look alive geting in 2nite.
the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
His fridge was full of blocks of pepperjack cheese, and his pantry was stocked with huge jars of jellybeans. Even if I'd been drunk, I don't think I could've made that up.
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
he's gonorrhea incarnate
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.