bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
she woke up with a sticky ear
WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
Wipe that smile off your face.
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
I just hope the day something happens to me my phone just dies, like literally died and will never turn on ever again. I feel like God owes me that much.
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship