Alright folks.. i have made history - I just hit my 2nd PARKED car SOBER withing 6 months.. :*( wtf?!
Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock.
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer.
Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro.
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
Randomize
