You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
when I woke up I found a half-eaten cherry toaster strudel sandwich with bacon in the middle.
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
I love you. We're gonna celebrate your 21st by putting people in duct tape bikinis and pushing them down tequila slip and slides
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
So my mom wants to hear about my weekend. How do I make licking cupcake frosting off your face while high not sound like just that?
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar