Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
I've never seen the starbucks guy more terrified than when you dove out the car window after your credit card
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
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