he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
You know what's worse than asking for the morning after pill? Asking for the morning after pill in a sketchy hospital in a foreign country where no one speaks English.
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
Randomize
