So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
i thought to myself 'what a productive day'. then i realized all ive done is one load of laundry and shaved my balls.
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
Randomize
