everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
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Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
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Totally forgot I asked the cop for a theoretical fist bump and he still let me drive away
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
She couldn't find her toothbrush so I had to wait while she sucked on the 12 peppermints she found under the couch. Pretty resourceful for her level of intoxication.
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