i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
remember, YOU ARE A WINNER
my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice.
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
Randomize
