Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
You walked in with a bag of weed and asked for a watermelon. For some reason they actually gave you one, and you made it into a perfectly working bong. Two of them offered their girlfriends to you for the night.
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Randomize
