Charged a drink to your name last night. Thanks for the whiskey
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
Her facebook status said "just got a sign from god". I texted her and apparently she found a slice of pizza in the shower.
You almost married that.
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
Randomize
