you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
God doesn't care if you're a paramedic, you can't do that to someones cat and still get into heaven
Shit. My boss is having me meet and greet with the new doc upstairs. Do you think his doctor powers will detect that I'm still high?
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
Randomize
